Oh no! The Doctor's been transformed into...

If the BBC decided to save some money next season by replacing Matt Smith... here's how it might go down.


Previously on Doctor Who:

Amy stares wistfully at Doctor. Doctor winks enigmatically at Amy. Rory rolls his eyes. Meanwhile, a Dalek spy slips into the TARDIS unnoticed and stows away in one of the many closets filled entirely with shoes. Doctor comes looking for a pair to match his new bow tie. EXTERMINATE! Dalek shoots left. Doctor dives right. Dalek holds out a shiny new nickel. Doctor gets distracted. "Ooh shiny". Dalek hits him full in the chest with a purple laser beam. Doctor falls to the ground in the hallway. His fez rolls off a short distance. Screen fades to black.

And now the continuation:

With a triumphant sounding beep, the Dalek rolls down the hallway towards the control room. He goes around a bend just as Amy and Rory come running down the hallway from the other direction. "Doctor?, Doctor!" They find him lying in the hallway shoeless and motionless, but possibly still breathing. There is a long moment of silence while the two companions take in the scene, then Amy rushes to the Doctor and takes his head in her hands. "Rory, you're a nurse. Do something!" He shrugs and holds out his hands. "I've never studied Time Lord physiology."

Just then, the Doctor starts to glow with an inner light and shakes slightly. The shaking turns into full blown convulsions as the glow intensifies. Rory pulls Amy away and holds her by the wrist while she struggles to get back to the Doctor. All of a sudden, intense rays of light condense and shoot out from the Doctor's palms. The room lights up with every colour of the spectrum, as well as some lesser known colours, forcing Amy and Rory to shield their eyes.

Once the light has faded, all that remains in the Doctor's place is a pair of pants and a pile of rumpled brown tweed. Amy takes a loud breath and immediately begins to panic. Rory sighs and takes her hand. "Whatever that was, I'm sure the Doctor is just fine. In fact, he probably planned the whole thing to take the piss out of us." Amy snivels. "I don't think so Rory. That wasn't supposed to happen. I can feel it."

Just as she is about to dig her head into Rory's shoulder for a good bawl, the two notice some rustling underneath the pile of clothing on the floor. They watch in stunned silence as a penguin slips out from beneath the tweed blazer and straightens his bow tie.

"Oh no, the Doctor's been transformed into a penguin!" exclaims Amy.

"SQUAWK!" says the penguin, looking straight at her.

Calmly, he raises his big webbed feet one at a time to examine them. He flaps his wings to test them out, and spins around in two complete circles trying to get a look at his tail. Catching sight of the fez on the floor, he brushes it off with the flipper-like edge of his wing and attempts to raise it up to his head, only to realize that his wings are too short. He spins around in another complete circle trying to reach, but it's no use.

"SQUAWK!" says the penguin, looking at Amy.

Giggling, Amy walks over to the penguin and bends down to examine him. "My, aren't you just the cutest little ball of feathers." She places the fez gently on top of his head and scratches the back of his neck. "Look Rory, he likes it when you scritch his neck!" Rory grunts.

"SQUAWK!" says the penguin.

Just then the TARDIS starts to jerk from side to side and shake like during a rough take off. Our three passengers are thrown to the floor. The lights flicker and go out, but the shaking continues. "Who is driving this thing?" yells Amy. As if in answer, the TARDIS loudspeakers crackle to life with a high pitched "EXTERMINATE!"

***Don't miss the exciting conclusion of Doctor Who, following this brief word from our sponsors.***

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This Doctor Who interlude has been brought to you by my latest batch of geek crafts.

I was making a felt penguin, and thought it would be fun to give him a bow tie. As whovians know, bow ties are cool. From there, it was just one more small step to a fez. And voila, I'd created a penguin version of the eleventh Doctor!

Having gone this far, I felt that I needed a narrative explaining how the Doctor's transformation came about. Obviously, this came down to an inspired Dalek plot to incapacitate their arch enemy and gain control of his TARDIS. Thus, I needed a Dalek. I embroidered this one freehand on a piece of grey felt.

The part of the TARDIS is played by fabric purchased a few years ago at a craft fair. I believe this is actually a lino cut design transferred with fabric paint. I plan to use it in a quilt later this year.

Hope you enjoyed!